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The Need To Be Right
I’m often amazed at the amount of energy
people use when needing to be right about something, especially
when it all boils down to each person’s belief around the
subject they’re discussing. Yesterday I was standing in a
very long line at the grocery store and the conversation that was
taking place between the two women behind me had me smiling to
myself and excited that they were giving me material for my next
newsletter.
They were discussing some political issues.
What was so intriguing to me was how they went from a friendly,
casual conversation sharing their opinions, to one of hostility,
very much needing to prove the other wrong and their self, right.
It got to the point where other shoppers started looking at them
in amazement and when the two women noticed this they cut the
conversation off.
This really brought my attention to how often
we feel the need to be right no matter what the circumstances or
even the consequences sometimes. Our egos can become so enmeshed
in the moment that it can feel like we’re defending our life
and we no longer hear anything the other person is saying. The
amount of emotional energy that is exerted can be enormous and
turn a good day into a rotten day all in the name of being right.
The truth is we are all human Spirits viewing
the world through our own filter systems and because of that,
there are, and always will be, varying degrees of beliefs and
opinions. We are all on different points of our paths and
depending how far apart those points are will often determine how
easily our feathers get ruffled by someone else’s beliefs.
As a mother of a 17 year old, it is my
intention to let go of the need to be right every time my son and
I don’t agree on something. Now understand, I said it is my
intention, because there are times when that feels almost
impossible and I end up falling short of my intention. However,
what I’ve felt when I succeed with my intention is an
enormous amount of freedom and peace inside. What I’ve seen,
is a relationship that continues to grow closer each and everyday
and a young man who is starting to let go of needing to be right
too.
Take a look at your own life and see when and
under what circumstances you find yourself needing to be right to
the point of becoming aggravated with the other person. Do you
ever get so fed up that you’ll walk away only to go to
someone else and retell the event so that person agrees with you
and makes you right? You’d be amazed how often this can
happen without being consciously aware of doing it.
When an opportunity presents itself, make a
conscious decision to not have to be right and see what happens.
Allow people to have their say and consider it an interesting
perspective instead of one that is all wrong and just plain
ignorant. Let them know it’s an interesting way to see
something. Tell them you never thought of it that way. It
doesn’t matter that you don’t agree with what
they’re expressing. I’ve done this hundreds of times
with people and what often happens is they are more open to hear
what your thoughts are and both parties end up actually learning
something from each other.
Letting go of the need to be right can truly
transform your relationships and bring you a great deal of inner
peace. Play with it. Test the waters and see what unfolds for you
and all the relationships you encounter in your life.
Copyright 2005, Linda Salazar all
rights reserved.
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