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Influence
How and Why People Agree to Things
This is a brief summary of some of the reasons we agree. Perhaps
you want to become more persuasive or perhaps you want to
discover why you are so easily persuaded. Let’s examine some
reasons.
Reciprocity
We each try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided
us. Favors have a tendency to produce a feeling of indebtedness.
There is also a feeling of obligation to make a concession to
someone who has first made a concession to us. If you are treated
to lunch, what do you say? “I’ll buy next time.”
Right? If someone says, “Okay, I’ll ride in the
backseat.”, you may feel compelled to say, “Okay,
we’ll listen to the station you wanted to hear.”
It’s only fair, we feel.
A variation on this is
“rejection-then-retreat”. This involved asking for a
large request (“Would you donate $25 to my scout
troop?”), getting turned down, then retreating to a smaller
request (“That’s okay — would you buy a candy bar
for $2.00?”). The smaller request is much more likely to be
approved.
All of this falls under the heading of
reciprocity — the tendency to feel obligated to repay in
kind.
Commitment and Consistency
Once we make a choice or take a stand, we will feel pressure to
behave consistently with that commitment. This is sometimes
referred in sales as the “head bobbing dog in the rear
window” approach. Starting with small (seemingly harmless)
requests (“This is a great ride, isn’t it?”).
Agreement can increase the chance that we will feel compelled to
agree with the next larger request (“Would you like me to
run up a few figures on that? It’s no problem.). As the head
bobs up and down in agreement we feel a need to continue to agree
or seem inconsistent.
An even stronger example of this can be seen
if you can get someone to write out a belief or commitment. When
we write things in our own hand, it seems very important that we
support what we have written.
Social Proof
This is the “herd mentality” idea that the more we see
others doing something, the more likely we will do it. An action
seems more correct if others are doing it. The greater the number
of people who find an idea correct, the more the idea will seem
to be correct.
Liking
We have a tendency to be persuaded by those we like. Think about
how the references of friends may persuade us. Liking can include
physical attractiveness, similarity of background or interests,
compliments, and long periods of contact with others.
Authority
Our need to conform to the dictates of authority figures may seem
to have practical advantage. We are also susceptible to symbols
of authority such as a title, clothing, the car someone drives, a
uniform or other badge of office.
Scarcity
An opportunity seems more valuable to us when that opportunity is
limited in availability. This is where we get things like
“limited time offer”, “call within the next 10
minutes”, or “This is the last one in this color and
size”.
This is one of the factors that has made e-bay
successful — I want this and there are not many of them.
So if you want to BE more influential work to
see how you can incorporate these ideas into your life. If you
want to be LESS swayed by others, examine yourself for your
susceptibility to these ways of thinking.
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